Don’t Even Ask

Eeyore is my spirit animal. He suffers from depression and anxiety, just like me. His friends often find him overcome with sadness and despair. I’m feeling a lot like Eeyore lately.

I had to work yesterday, and I despise having to spend a perfectly good Saturday at work. I woke up early, showered, got dressed, and silently cursed my sleeping husband as I headed out the door. I was almost two hours into my day when he text me. “Did I miss something?,” he asked as he sent me a Twitter screenshot of rioting in LA. His tv viewing consists almost solely of Netflix and he deleted his Facebook account a few months ago. He’s been off work for a few days and therefore blissfully unaware of the latest tragedy and the ensuing protests. I’m almost jealous of his detachment to reality.

2020 has been one hell of a year, and we haven’t even made it to the halfway point yet. Between storms, fires, the pandemic, and murder hornets, I’m not sure why anyone would ask if it could get any worse. Could it be that there are those out there who haven’t learned their lesson? That’s a question best left un-asked lest it be mistaken as a challenge.

Our country is in turmoil, much like my heart. What happened in Minnesota was horrific, incomprehensible, unacceptable, and unforgivable in my book. What’s happening across the country is inexcusable. Violence is not the answer. Setting police cars in Pittsburgh on fire will not being George Floyd back. Vandalizing a statue of Mario Lemieux isn’t justice. Smashing windows and stealing things is a crime, not a protest. It makes me physically sick when I see how our country is falling apart.

Now there are two things I try to avoid when it comes to social media. Can you guess what they are? Yep, politics and religion. For whatever reason, I felt compelled to write this blog post anyway, against my better judgement. The following is my opinion. I’m entitled to it. It’s my right to voice it. It’s also my right to change it if I become convinced that it is inaccurate, inappropriate, outdated, or misguided.

I will never understand the trials and tribulations that black people face every day. Just because I don’t understand, doesn’t mean I don’t care. I don’t know what it feels like to fear for my life just because of the color of my skin. I hate the term white privilege, but I won’t dispute that it exists. That being said, I also refuse to be blamed for the actions of others. While I will stand beside those people suffering injustice, I will not allow myself to be shamed or guilted just because of the color of my skin. Isn’t that exactly the behavior we’re trying to stop? Yes, I was born white. In 1980. I’ve never been a master of slaves. I’ve never owned a store or restaurant that refused to allow people of color to come inside. I’ve never been the administrator of a college that denied education based on skin color. I’ve never been a corrupt police officer who pulled over/arrested/murdered an innocent person because of racial profiling. I’ve never been to L.A. or Minnesota.

Change starts at home. I believe that with my whole heart. If we want to see real change in the world, then we all need to start with ourselves. It is absolutely justifiable to be outraged when situations like this occur. But please explain to me how smashing the window of a small business thousands of miles away and stealing the very things allowing those owners to survive is a justifiable response. You can’t demand to be judged solely on your own character and at the same time insist that I, sitting at home on my couch not bothering a soul, am somehow part of the problem.

No longer will I be afraid to speak my mind or to voice my opinion because of how someone else may judge me. Only God can judge me. If something I say offends you and you feel the need to call me out, so be it. Do it respectfully. Let’s have a conversation. Let’s treat each other as equals. Hell, I’ve changed my opinions on lots of things over the years. Convince me. Help me be more understanding.

Let’s try to remember the Golden Rule, and whatever we do, let’s be kind.