The Willingness to Change

My Wednesday evenings spent at church as a liaison for NA meeting always seem to be filled with my most profound thoughts of the week. The only requirement for NA is the willingness to change. It’s such a great message and a powerful mantra. The willingness to change. I’m taking that as my own for this new season in my life.

The dictionary defines willingness as the quality or state of being prepared to do something, readiness. Let me say that again…being prepared to DO something. Louder for those in the back…BEING PREPARED TO DO SOMETHING! Having the willingness to change isn’t simply being open to change. You have to actively work toward change. You have to get up off your ass and make the change you want to see become your reality.

There’s a fairly decent list of things I’d like to change in my life. I need to focus more on my own physical and mental health. I’d like to be more involved in the community. I want to spend more quality time with my children before they graduate next year and head off into their own adult lives. I’d like to be more like my daughter when interacting with strangers. The list goes on and on.

I’m sitting here listening to the NA group members, and I want what they have. I want the willingness to change. These men and women put in the work each and every day to make their lives better and to overcome their addictions. What does it take to make that willingness to change really take hold? It’s so easy to make a list of things I want to change, but just making a list doesn’t make change happen.

About three years ago, I started seeing a counselor. She’s absolutely amazing. I was diagnosed with depression and general anxiety, and she spent the better part of a year just trying to help me change the way I react to things. I’m a typical End of the World, Worst Case Scenario person. It’s one of my biggest personal demons. Learning to stop over-thinking, over-analyzing, over-reacting to things has been a struggle. Some days are better than others. Some days I am just completely beyond hope, or at least that’s the way I feel.

The willingness to change. That’s what I’m striving for right now. The state of being prepared to do something. I keep saying I’m ready. Now I need to make it a reality. To quote my favorite band, “ The first step is the one you believe in. The second one might be profound.” Wish me luck 🍀