As I’m writing this, we are one week away from “ME Day,” also known as my birthday. My daughter said to me this afternoon, “Mom, you really are obsessed with your birthday.” You know what? I am! But let me tell you why.
For me, birthdays aren’t about lamenting the growing number of candles on the cake or even about the added bonuses that come with reaching a certain age. They are a celebration of the individual. Birthdays are the one day a year when a person has absolutely every right to be selfish and say, “it’s all about me!” Side note: my daughter takes great pride in reminding me that this is not true in the lives of multiples since they are forced to share the day with their twin, triplets, etc. I’ve heard from her more times than I can count how unfair it is that she has to share her birthday with her brother. That being said, I’m not a multiple, so my birthday is indeed all about me!
New Year’s Day happens to be the first day of my birthday month. It’s convenient, having a birthday at the end of the month. On January 1st, I make it a point to remind at least 284 people that it’s my birthday month. I not only welcome but encourage sweet treats to celebrate the occasion. I’ll never turn down cake, or cookies, or a milkshake just because it isn’t the 29th. After all, my parents had nine months of anticipating my arrival, so what’s a monthlong celebration in comparison? 🤣 I actually enjoy spending an entire month counting down to my big day.
The closer we get to the anniversary of my birth, the more frequent the question is posed. “What do you want for your birthday?” I’ve heard it from my parents, kids, sister, husband, and co-workers. (I work in an office that never misses an excuse to have a party). This year, I think what I want most is time and acceptance. Allow me to elaborate…
I have plenty of things. More things than I have space for to be honest. I don’t really need any more stuff. George Carlin had a great bit about stuff. It plays in my mind over and over each time I have to try to find a place for some new thing. Time, however, is incredibly precious and so often taken for granted. We all need more of it, which makes the gift of time that much more meaningful. Then there’s acceptance. Isn’t that what we all want? To be accepted as we are?
So here it is…
1. Call me. Take the time to sit down, pick up the phone, and reach out. Ask me how I’m doing. Listen to me grumble about work or ramble incessantly about how much I love going to the Wednesday night NA meeting at our church. Don’t try to cheer me up if I seem down. Don’t tell me it’s odd that a non-addict goes to weekly meetings. Just listen. Accept what I’m saying as something relevant and meaningful in my life.
2. Come visit. Drop by with a pizza and watch a movie with me. Hang out with me in comfy clothes and fuzzy blankets. Trust me, I’ve got plenty of blankets! Indulge me by watching a movie that I think you should see, even if it isn’t something you’d choose on your own. If I want you to see it, then I promise you there’s some element that made me think of you. Humor me and give it a chance, without cynicism or objection.
3. Invite me somewhere. Your house, the bar, somewhere fancy like Applebee’s 🍎. Make plans with me. Offer me a space in your calendar that isn’t a last-minute, nothing else to do kind of thing. Make me a priority, even if it’s only for a little while.
4. Send me a card. The mailman is always delivering bills. It’s a treat to come home to something that isn’t demanding I part with more of my hard-earned cash! Again, it can be a $.50 card from Dollar Tree. Knowing that you took the time to pick up a card, write a few lines, and drop it in the mail is worth so much more than the Hallmark Gold Crown.
5. Share a memory of me. Send me a text. Post a picture on Instagram. Tag me in a Facebook meme that reminds you of something we did or said. Let me feel like I matter.
I’ll admit, some of these ideas can come across as pretty selfish, but I already explained that it’s perfectly acceptable to be selfish on your birthday. We’re supposed to love ourselves, right? So what’s wrong with wanting to be the center of attention for 24 hours? Well, more like 16 if you get the recommended 8 hours of sleep at night. Wait, do people actually get to sleep for 8 uninterrupted hours??? Maybe there’s a #6 to this list…
Are you still reading this?? Thank you! Thank you for taking time out of your busy life to indulge me in my often ridiculous ramblings. You’ve already granted one of my birthday wishes. Now if you’d just hit like, I’ll take that as the acceptance I’ve been craving too. 🤣
Maybe I shouldn’t blog when I’m exhausted…
Confessions of a Forty Year Old Nobody 