Life Changes

My mom used to say that the only things that were certain were death and taxes. HA! I think the only thing we can be certain about is that nothing is certain. Life changes in the blink of an eye.

This time last year, I was learning to navigate life without my Mom. I think I’m doing an ok job, but there’s still so many things I’m unsure of. Being the matriarch of the family is a tough job. She did it with such grace and made it look easy. I should’ve asked more questions when I had the chance.

In addition to adjusting to life without my Mom, I was eagerly anticipating the arrival of my first grandchild. Talk about a life-changing moment! From the moment I first saw my Tiny Bestie💕, I knew she’d have me wrapped around her fingers for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way! I am beyond blessed and eternally grateful for having her live with me for the first eight months. I thought my kids grew up fast, but that was nothing compared to watching my granddaughter blossom. The eight months we spent waiting for her to be born seemed like an eternity, and the eight months since flew by like a fighter jet.

Now, at 45 years old, I’m experiencing life as an empty-nester. Tiny Bestie💕 moved out last month when her parents decided to act like adults and bought their first house. I tried telling them that they could move, but she had to stay. My daughter wouldn’t even entertain that idea. Then I said I’d just have to stop to see her every day on my way to work. Nope, my daughter shot that idea down too. Letting go is hard.

I married a man with kids when I was twenty. I had my precious angels when I was 24. I’ve spent my entire adult life taking care of other people, be it my kids, husband, grandparents, parents, etc. I’m not complaining, I love my family and I thrive on caring for others. I’m simply saying that it’s strange to find myself at a point in my life where the only person I have to care for on a daily basis is myself. I don’t really know how to do that.

Change is hard, but not without its benefits. Ever since middle school, I’ve dreamed of having a house with a library. I’ve been collecting books for the past twenty-something years, hoping that someday that dream would become a reality. This past month, I’ve spent a lot of time, energy, and MAC Bucks to bring my library to fruition. It’s more like an office with some books in it right now, but it’s mine. It’s a space that’s all my own, filled with the things that put a smile on my face. Books, photographs, stuffed animals, keepsakes, and more pens than any one person needs to own! I’ve got a shelf of empty journals waiting to be written. There’s a box of photo albums to be filled, and a basket of cards to be sent. I’ve even got a table for when Tiny Bestie💕 is old enough to color, draw, and craft with her Nene.

And if all that change wasn’t enough, I changed jobs too. After nearly ten years at a place that was anything but pleasant, I took a leap of faith and, as mom would say, got the hell outta Dodge! I’ve been at my new job for four months now. I can’t even describe how much happier I am. No longer do I wake up sick to my stomach at the thought of going to work. Now don’t get me wrong, I’d still prefer to be independently wealthy and not have to work. The Powerball doesn’t seem to be cooperating. In fact, neither does the Mega Millions or the quarter push machine at the club. Ok, so I’m not gonna win enough playing the quarter machine to retire. But I digress, like my sister often does.

In the midst of all this change, I’m thankful for the simple things that have stayed the same. My family is still a top priority. Some of us have even gotten closer over the past year. I can still sit on my front porch and watch the birds. My kids still like to hang out with me, and their friends still come to visit me too. I still think enjoying some DiCarlo’s pizza on the riverbank is a slice of Heaven on earth. I still think that the best way to start a Sunday morning is by cranking up some gospel music and thanking God for all the gifts He’s given me. I still look forward to seeing Shinedown in concert, and I still like writing this blog.

I hope you still like reading it 😜