Chubbs ❤️

It’s been said that people come into our lives for either a reason, a season, or a lifetime. How incredibly blessed a person is to discover that one person embodies all three. My dear friend Chubbs did just that. He left this earth on December 4th, called home to Glory with an end to over a decade-long struggle with cancer and the myriad of health problems that often follows that already devastating diagnosis. While his pain has ended, my pain, along with the pain felt by all who knew him, lingers on.

Let’s start with the reason Chubbs and I became friends. When I first met my husband, he lived on a quiet street in the Arlington neighborhood of Pittsburgh. If you’re familiar with the area, that may sound like a somewhat ridiculous statement given its reputation. Four houses down, at the end of the block, was the childhood home of two brothers who happened to be two of his best friends. (Side note: I’m five years older than my husband, and we all know that girls mature much quicker than boys). Chubbs was only two years my junior. He was also a divorced father of two children. To say we had a lot in common would be an understatement. Our connection was instantaneous and undeniable. Chubbs was the first of my then newly-acquired boyfriend’s friends to welcome me into their very close circle with open arms. That little piece of Arlington was something magical….this tight-knit group of friends became a family that has withstood decades of everything life has thrown their way. I hope they all realize how lucky they truly are to have each other. I think they do, especially since we all had to gather to say goodbye to the very best friend, brother, son, father, and husband we’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Moving on to the season. There was a time in our lives that Chubbs and I depended on each other like no other. We were both going through some incredibly tough times, and it was comforting to know that there was someone who loved us unconditionally just a text or phone call away. Chubbs had already beaten cancer when I first met him. In fact, I didn’t even know it had been a thing for the first month or so. He was thriving. He and my husband were two of the most respected hip-hop producers in Pittsburgh. I was completely blown away when the two of them tried to explain the vastness of their reach in the music community. Chubbs was also a very talented DJ, a BossDJ in fact. If my man had to work late, Chubbs would invite me out to wherever he was spinning that night. He was a natural. At his funeral, someone said Chubbs forgot more music than any of us even knew. I believe that to be absolutely true. He had such a passion for music, and he loved sharing that passion with the world. It was commonplace for me to go to sleep and wake up to emails from Chubbs, either the latest beat he was working on, or some song or artist he felt like I needed to experience.

Now I’m sure with a name like Chubbs, you can probably guess my dear friend had an appreciation for food as well. One of our greatest loves was pizza, and Chubbs became my Pittsburgh Pizza Guru. He took me to Mineo’s, Fiori’s, and Beto’s. I cherished our lunch dates. Good food, great conversation, and the best friend I could ask for. Pizza wasn’t the only Pittsburgh culinary experience we shared. He was the first person to introduce me to sushi at Yokoso and the amazing lobster mac and cheese at the Shiloh Grille on Mt. Washington. We went to Page’s Dairy Mart and Remember When ice cream. Chubbs also made sure I knew every convenience store in the South Side that carried Turner’s tea. (I don’t even drink tea).

Chubbs was my positivity coach. He was my therapist. He was my cheerleader. No matter what he was dealing with in his own life, he downright refused to let me sit in misery. He’d ask questions and intently listen to my answers. He’d offer advice, sometimes accompanied by a particular technique he’d learned through his own mental health journey. I’d get texts of seemingly random YouTube videos that were exactly what I needed to hear. He’d send ridiculous selfies to make me laugh. My phone would ring, and he’d start some completely ludicrous conversation out of the blue. Chubbs taught me that I could never give up. Even fighting his own battles, he wouldn’t leave me behind. He never let me feel alone.

One night, Chubbs and I were talking about soul mates. He told me about this woman he’d met. He said, “I kinda knew her,” and he gave me this smile. I knew right then he’d found the one. He and I had many late-night, soul-baring conversations. He was easy to talk to about anything. He spoke softly and never judged. He never made me feel like I was less than for anything I said or felt. I trusted him with my deepest thoughts, fears, insecurities, and regrets, and he trusted me with his. That is a bond that can never be broken. The more he brought up this woman, the more evident it became that my season in his life was coming to an end. There’s no malice or regret in that statement. I wanted him to have every happiness in life, God knows he deserved it. He’d found her, and I trusted her with his heart. We drifted apart, but never so far that I couldn’t pick up the phone if I needed him. I knew he’d always be there, and I hope he knew the same of me.

When my husband and I got married, Chubbs DJ’d the wedding. His exceptionally talented baker of a girlfriend made our cake. Watching the way he looked at her, I knew he loved her with every ounce of his being. He told me he was going to marry her. I just smiled and said, “ I know.” The beginning of my new adventure with my husband also symbolized the end of my adventures with Chubbs.

So if the season ended, how is Chubbs still in for a lifetime? That’s easy. This man touched my life and gave me hope when I had none. He believed in me. He motivated me. He valued me. He loved me. If you’re lucky enough to have a friend like that, the impact they make will remain with you always. I’ll see my friend again someday, I have no doubt. When my time on earth comes to an end, he’ll be there to welcome me with open arms. That’s just the kind of man he was. The world felt a little dimmer when he left us, but I know without a doubt that he wants us all to shine!!!