Spring has brough some much needed change. The awful windstorm of March’s Friday the 13th wreaked havoc on the already weathered exterior of my house. Siding was ripped off the house and precariously slammed through the railing of my pool deck. The garage roof lost more than a couple shingles, and the house and porch roofs sustained some damage as well. After the catastrophe adjuster for my homeowner’s insurance came and took a look, I got busy finding someone to fix what Mother Nature damaged.
Enter Roof Monster. Project #1 was replacing the siding on the back of the house. I trusted the opinion of the guy who “does this stuff for a living,” and went with a light gray siding. It looks amazing!! But even better than the aesthetic, I no longer have to hear my house playing drums on itself every time the wind blows. Loose siding is incredibly loud!
Project #2 for my buddy Roof Monster was replacing the garage roof. And the porch roof. And the patio roof. Oh what the hell, let’s just do the whole house while we’re at it!! Every roof I have now has matching Williamsburg Gray shingles that are just beginning to experience the crazy weather in my little neck of the woods. In true SWPA fashion, it rained, the sun came out, the temperature dropped, and the rain returned with a vengeance in the process of installation. Again, trusted the suggestion of the Roof Monster when choosing the color of the shingles. It’s stunning. I’m beyond happy with the way it turned out.
In between siding and roofing, I decided that the first and second week of May were the perfect days to spend in my basement. April showers bring May flowers, the saying goes. But here in my little piece of paradise, April showers brought May showers. May as well spend all that time indoors and stay dry. I didn’t get wet; I got dirty. In addition to all of the stuff that’s been accumulating in the basement for the past half a century, I had quite a collection of antique dirt to sift through. I called up my friends at Rozner’s Refuse and had them deliver a 30 yard dumpster. “That’s big enough for a whole house,” according to my dad. Joke’s on him, I think I could probably fill another one!
Pitching things that your family has “hoarded” (as my daughter would say) is not an easy task. Turns out its not so simple to throw away things that aren’t yours when you’re still grieving the loved ones you’ve lost who happened to be the procurers of the stuff. Most items came with memories…where they came from, where they belonged in the house, who tried to get rid of them and how they managed to escape the landfill for so many decades. Then there’s the mystery of items never before seen. Why do we have this? Who in their right mind ever thought this was a good idea? Where on earth do you even get something like this? The questions are just as endless as the “treasures” I’ve been uncovering.
Then there’s the guilt. The feeling that you’re somehow disrespecting someone by tossing out their stuff. The gut-wrenching realization (or recognition) that the stuff is no longer needed because that life is long gone. I don’t need 64 mason jars for canning vegetables. I don’t even have a garden! Six tents, four sleeping bags, and twelve camping chairs are completely unnecessary for someone who never has time to go camping. China service for eighteen is overkill. I don’t even know eighteen people who’d come to dinner if I invited them. And just out of curiosity, how many Steelers Christmas wreaths does one house need?? To be completely transparent, none of the items I just mentioned made it to the dumpster. They didn’t make it to the three day yard sale that followed the weeklong purge either. They’re still safely stored on a shelf in the basement, too important to let go of just yet.
My therapist is helping me work through some trauma, and she’s encouraged me to give myself some grace when it comes to letting go. She said it’s ok to hold on to some things a little while longer. Letting go often happens in phases, and not everything can be tossed aside on the first pass. Some things take a little longer to process, and that’s ok.
Long story short, you can see the walls in my basement now. Even better, you can walk through every room without running into or climbing over all the stuff. I’ve still got a long way to go, but I’m feeling very accomplished. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, and encouraged to keep moving forward. I’m beginning to realize that change is neither forbidden nor required. I can keep some things just the way they’ve always been, and I can switch things up as I see fit. Both are completely normal and acceptable things to do.
We’re five months into the year, and there is still plenty of work to be done. But for right now, I think I’ve earned a break. I’m gonna spend a little time doing nothing, well mostly nothing, and I’m not gonna stress over wasting time. At least that’s the plan for the next two days. Hey, one day at a time!
If you’re still reading my ramblings, know that I appreciate it. Truthfully. I’m grateful for each and every one of you. Thank you for giving me a little of your time. I know how precious it can be.
Oh, I can’t forget the most important thing of every blog post….
🩵My daughter is amazing🩵
Confessions of a Forty Year Old Nobody 