There’s something magical about befriending someone sixteen years your junior. She’s often a wonderfully eclectic mix of who you were and who you wish you could’ve been at her age. Maybe she reminds you of the charismatic younger days you’re missing, or maybe you see an opportunity to instill calm in her life using lessons learned from the chaos of your twenties. Perhaps she’s your connection to a part of you that isn’t really gone, just pushed into the darkness of the past by the nature of your growing older. Whatever the reason, she is a gift from the heavens that should be cherished.
Now, if that same woman happens to be a coworker….look out! There’s absolutely no friendship that can compare to that of work besties. This is especially true if you are less than thrilled with your workplace environment. To be absolutely clear and 100% transparent, I love what I do. The job itself, the math, that’s exactly what my brain needs. What my mental health does not need, however, is the never-ending stress that comes from having a job that I simply cannot complete without other people (almost ALWAYS making at least four times my salary) completing their jobs first. There is simply no way I could survive another 20+ years in the automotive industry without my work bestie.
When I took this job, this magnificent Leo was tasked with my onboarding. During our first phone conversation, I emphatically told this poor girl that we were going to be best friends. I’m almost certain that she thought my comment was completely off the wall and out of place. After all, I was about to become the new older lady in the office. Surely we’d have nothing in common, right? HA!!
I’m not good at keeping my mouth shut. It’s a “character flaw” of mine that I’ve mentioned in more than one job interview throughout my forty six years on this Earth. I tend to say whatever is on my mind, and to be completely honest, I don’t really GAF who likes it and who doesn’t. I became the “middle child” of my new office. Two of my new coworkers were older than me, and two younger. Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t think of myself as old. Perhaps its because I’ve been with myself every day of my life, but I often feel like exactly the same person I was in high school. It’s fairly easy for me to relate to other women who are in the same stage in life. Notice I didn’t say the same age, just the same stage. For me, that’s the once divorced now remarried mother of twin adults, one of whom has graciously made me a grandmother at my tender young age. If my mom was still alive, she’d tell you that from a very young age, all I ever wanted to be was a grown up mother just like her. My mom was my best friend and my biggest supporter. She let me hang out with the adults probably years sooner than she should have. Because of that, I have a strong connection to her generation as well. I was raised by the most amazing mom, who learned everything she knew from my grandmother, an equally amazing woman. Yes, I’m rambling, but the point is that I am comfortable with women of all ages. I can relate, learn, teach, and grow with just about anyone. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I can form a bond with anyone with shared experiences, regardless of age. In an office environment, that bond is often formed through shared stress and frustration that manifests itself in ways only coworkers can truly understand. In the accounting office of a car dealership…that frustration leads to a lot of colorful language and chocolate consumption. You’re welcome, Hershey family. Your kisses keep us going, and our purchases keep your bank account growing.
Ok, so back to my work bestie. She’s drop dead gorgeous: classically beautiful and not at all fake. She’s equally stunning in blue jeans or a little black dress. If you asked me to describe how I wish I looked, I’d just show you pictures of her. She’s a knockout. But believe me, she is so much more. She’s thoughtful and intelligent, resilient and determined, empathetic and dependable. I’d go on, but I don’t want her head to get too big! Seriously though, she is amazing. In those first couple of weeks, I remember thinking how I’d really like to be her friend. I also remember reminding myself that not all twenty-somethings want to be friends with someone rapidly approaching her nifty fifties. The way my brain is wired, I have to wait for someone to approach me. Otherwise, I just feel like I’m being a nuisance, and unwanted bother of a person. Despite how much I’ve matured and developed my own sense of self-worth, a part of me will always be the dorky little fat girl that’s afraid no one could possibly like her. Here I go rambling again.
One magical day last November, my wish came true. This spectacular human being said, “we really need to hang out outside of work.” That’s it, that’s all I needed. Hanging out didn’t happen immediately, but from that moment on, our relationship changed from coworkers to work besties. We became Facebook friends. We followed each other on Tik Tok. We have probably sent each other no less than a million memes, gifs, reels, and snaps. We developed an uncanny ability to have entire conversations in the office without actually using words.
Just after the new year, we finally went out for a drink. I won’t pretend that I remember every word we said that night, but I promise you I’ll never forget how I felt. It was like the stars had finally aligned. The best friend I’d been longing for had finally arrived. We talked, we did shots, we screamed, we cried, and we shared more than I ever expected to. The is no doubt in my mind that this woman was meant to be a part of my life for all eternity.
A best friend isn’t necessarily the friend you’ve known the longest. It’s the one that comes into your life and sets your soul on fire. It’s the person you can’t wait to share things with, good or bad. The one you would do anything for. The one who’d do anything for you. It’s the person you know would answer the phone at 2am and wouldn’t hesitate to jump in the car to come save you from yourself. She’s the woman you want to see happy and thriving, living her best life. She’s a blessing. She’s not perfect, but she’s the one you hope will never forget how utterly incredible she is. She’s the one you will remind every day that she is worthy. She is thoughtful in ways you never imagined, and she’s the answer to your prayer.
Are you still reading this?? I think I may have spiraled out of control here. I’m almost certain this didn’t go as planned. If you’ve read my other posts, you know that happens a lot. I get lost, distracted, sidetracked…squirrel! But you know what? SRH loves me anyway! And I love her, unconditionally, forever ♥️
And lest I forget…my daughter is fantastic too! 🩵
Confessions of a Forty Year Old Nobody 